Falling again

by Georgia Wingfield-Hayes

cropped-dsc04410.jpgI am falling
deeply
in love once more
Once more you say,
what happened
to that love the time before?

I’m not sure
but I know it was long ago
in childhood I think…
when I learned science
learned to pick at it all

We took the world to bits
like a child might a toy
But what we took apart
was our love and our joy
our sensing and feeling
of being part of it all

My love turned to pain,
guilt, grief and shame,
pure helplessness
what can just one person do
to reverse what is
lost, damaged, destroyed

So I studied and studied
and studied some more
to learn to find ways
in this life to sustain
this consumption
this privilege
this story which tells
that we are more special.

But where is the love
that deep embodied knowing
we lobotomised that
through all of that learning
yet we search and search
for love, happiness, satisfaction
not knowing that what we seek
is right here under our feet

She is alive, she is breathing
and speaking your name
go and greet her and meet her
know that you are one and the same

I am falling and falling
in love once again
but to do so I had to allow
myself one little thing

To say I miss you
so deeply
to those beings now gone
to the forests
and places
those creatures
that my,
species destroyed
in the blink of an eye

I miss you, I miss you
I’ll say it once more
I miss you, for saying it
helps me to fall
down from my grief
guilt, pain and shame
back deeply in love
with her once again

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